It is often said that we go after what we want, and not necessarily what we need. Let’s face it, that quick gratification of the easy and fast fix is what we want. Advertisers, pharmaceutical companies, quack health gurus are banking on the fact that we all want to change things for the better as quickly as possible, and we are willing to pay for it. So we buy the latest food craze book, or the next diet supplement, and we try it for a few days; when it doesn’t work we throw it out and start hunting for the next fix. Every time we are a little more jaded, realizing that it didn’t work last time, so it probably won’t work this time– but, hey, you gotta try, right?
So let’s think about the power of our self-talk and our beliefs. Have you heard about the guy who died after being diagnosed with cancer, only for his family to discover that the Doctor made a mistake? What about ‘knowing’ that today is going to be a lucky day, and you find a twenty dollar bill on the ground? We are familiar with the placebo effect, so much so that it has become a concept we accept without really thinking much about it. Stop and think about it…our beliefs change medical outcomes all the time. While I don’t think we should replace cancer treatment with visualization, I do think we often act like our beliefs are unchanging and just an unconscious output of our brain, an organ that we can’t control. But you have the ultimate tool for change at your fingertips.
Perception and belief are all tied together in a tangled knot. If you believe you are beautiful, you see that you are beautiful, and others see your beauty too. If you believe that you are a person that eats healthy foods, you are going to. If you think of yourself as someone who accepts whatever negative comments come your way, you are not going to put much effort into finding happiness, because you believe that you don’t have a lot of control over your life. When scientists look at the most successful people, the CEO and the pop star and the inventor, they don’t find that they started out with a wild amount of talent, for the most part. What separates the successful people from the rest, is that they knew they’re amazing and they don’t spend time thinking about the possibility that they aren’t. What you have to ask yourself is, are you willing to find out what your best self looks like?
When we discover what is really important to you, that’s motivation. When you build a picture of what your best self looks like, you know what you are working towards. When you spend time focusing on your strengths, and thinking about past experiences when you were successful, and happy, you know what tools you already have that will help you. The wellness coach is the person that asks you the right questions, points your attention to the things that work, and sees all your best qualities as you use them.
Are you going to say, “yes, I’m going to be happy with every part of who I am,” or are you gonna be ok with…whatever?